none of us are far removed from this uh shame and guilt topic it’s something that we’ve all experienced so i just wanted to normalize the reality that this is a common human dynamic and i think one trick that either our minds can play on us or that the enemy can play on us is to make us feel like we’re the only one and i think that’s part of the setup for shame the isolation the intimidation and just feeling like no one else in the world could possibly uh be okay with me because i’m not even okay with me so let’s start off first let’s define

shame and then let’s talk about how does it play out how do we recognize some of those thoughts or some of the reactions that we’re having in life where okay this is shame because we’re also talking about guilt and shame and guilt are not one and the same yeah so what do you think jim well i say and you’ve heard me say this that shame i say stands for s-h-a-m-e self-hatred at my expense it’s always about condemnation literally condemning myself and there’s a message which we’re going to get into another episode of

shame scripts but there’s a message that something is is clearly defective in me something as wrong as we get to guilt it has been said well the guilt is you know i’ve done something wrong there’s healthy guilt which we’ll get into later but shame is i am someone wrong okay say the acronym one more time because i love to take notes during the podcast and i just need a refresher really i i just say that shame s-h-a-m-e stands for self-hatred i hate myself there’s the condemnation self-hatred at my expense because it

cost me it cost me of myself it cost me my relationship with others and it will cost me certainly in my relationship with god and romans 8 1 tells us there’s therefore now no shame if you will no condemnation for those who are in christ jesus and experientially if i’m in shame walking in shame not that i’ve lost my salvation don’t worry to our resident theologian but experientially or functionally i’ve kind of stepped outside of christ jesus for a moment it’s like i’m not walking with him because walking with him there is no

condemnation so self-hatred i hate myself and it costs me a lot at my expense cost me a lot quite frankly so good yeah and i’ve often said i think i talked about this in my book uninvited which is primarily a book about rejection when you feel left out less than and lonely and something that i became aware of is that a lot of times something will happen to me and or i will make a choice and from that i develop a line that i say inside of my head and that line eventually if unattended to turns into a label that i put on myself

so you were saying shame isn’t just that we’ve done something wrong but it’s it’s us determining we are something wrong so then the line that either someone else spoke over me or i have this perception and i’ve spoken it over myself that line turns into a label then that label very quickly turns into a lie that i believe and i find myself really turning more to the lie rather than turning to the truth and i want god’s words to be the words that become the story of my life not this lie that i believe because of a line that was