When Your Partner Says They’re Changing but Their Actions Don’t Match
My husband left me and [music] the kids when I was 1 month postpartum. Um, we had been trying to work through infidelity for about a year. [music] And um, once he left, I found that he had an addiction to cocaine um, and was lying about a lot of things. Yet, I received a text about weekly saying he’s sorry, he loves me, so on and so forth.
Um, however, he’s not getting any form of help. [music] And so, how do you can hear my baby? How do I cope with these texts? Woo. This is hard. That’s really hard. Her husband left her and the kids when she was one month postpartum. >> That is a really harsh reality. >> So sometimes we smush together or conflate together the the terms forgiveness and trust. Mhm.
>> And you can work on forgiving someone, but and that is a command by God, but it is not an instant command by God that we must reconcile. Those two things don’t go together. Just because we’ve forgiven someone does not mean we automatically have to trust him again. And I hear a lot of broken trust in this dynamic, rightfully so.
And I I would just like to say that you can work on forgiving him, but when he’s sending you texts, sometimes maybe those are authentic and sometimes that could be lovebombing. >> Yeah. >> Because of just wanting to win you back. Key word win. You know, >> this she’s not a prize at the county fair. >> Exactly. Mhm. >> And so obviously we’re not in this dynamic and I don’t want to just make a lot of assumptions about this reality, but based on what we do know, trust takes time.
It’s broken in an instant and to repair it takes a very long time. And what I would need to see if I were you is time and over that stretch of time, believable behavior that he really has changed. You said he’s not getting any form of help. If he’s not getting any form of help, that’s making it really hard for me to believe that his motive is to get you back and participate in a healthy relationship.
