I I wrote In the book this statement um that broken trust complicates every bits of the part of Love That should be comforting wow and you know there’s so much about how God intended love to be that’s a comfort to the two people participating in a relationship where there’s love broken trust betrayal complicates every bit of that you no longer know what’s true what’s real what’s not true what’s not not real you know um you thought you really knew this person and that’s why you trusted them so much and do you really know this
person or what happened to this person where was the break I don’t know I call that relational vertigo I have never had vertigo but I’ve been with many who have and they’re like you don’t understand uh it could be flash photography sets them off or something and they’re spinning they’ve got to sit down or lie down so I’ve used the term you know I’ve just made up called relational vertigo in that moment you’re like H uh there’s no need to try to be logical good luck in that very moment everything spinning as
it should and I remember in that moment of Discovery cuz for me it was not a disclosure it was a discovery like I discovered it and kept discovering it and kept discovering it um but I remember in that that moment the first words that came out of my mouth were eily calm it wasn’t this big explosion I wasn’t screaming I wasn’t yelling it I was It was a very like almost unusual calm and I just said this isn’t who you are Who’s the who to him you yeah I just said to to him like to my husband at the time this this isn’t who you are this
isn’t who we are I asked that because some people would turn it internal and say this is not like least this is not who you are this is you know whatever I just why I wanted to clarify in this autopsy but you were saying in your mind or verbally said to him this is not who you are yeah yeah but then some statements were made that I quickly went from an eerie calm to walking into my closet curling up in the fetal position and wanting the whole world to go away and just feeling like I cannot acknowledge this I cannot face this I
