Thank you, Lord. We are excited to be in your presence and in the house of the Lord. Amen. Have you ever had an opportunity presented to you and you said, “No, no, I don’t want to do that. No, I can’t do that.” Maybe you didn’t think you were qualified. Or maybe you thought there was someone else better for the job.
Or maybe you just didn’t have the resources. You know, there’s numbers of reasons that we say no when certain opportunities present themselves. But then have you ever done that and then later got to thinking, uh, what did I say no for? I wish I’d have done that. Maybe I could have done that.
Have you ever wrestled with the no before? thinking maybe I could, oh, maybe I should. You see, I’ll never forget one time when Joel’s father was the pastor of the church back in the old building and we were worshiping God. It was in the middle of our worship just like we were doing today. My hands were up. I was praising God.
When I opened my eyes, Joel’s father had turned around in his seat and looked at me and said, “Victoria, why don’t you go up and do the prayer time?” Well, he wasn’t talking about next week or the next week. He was talking about the end of the song that was just about over. I’m sure I looked at him because I had never even remotely given him the thought that I wanted to get on the platform and do the prayer time. I don’t even know where he got that.
But I’ll never forget chuckling with a nervous laugh and I said, “Uh, Daddyo, I don’t think so.” You know, in his sweet, gentle way. He just smiled at me. He turned around and he never said anymore to me during that service. You know, I remember standing there thinking, I just need to get out of here. But when I got home, I was wrestling with that. No, I was so disappointed in myself.
And really, quite frankly, I was mad at myself because I thought to myself, if if he thought I could do it, why do I think that I can’t do it? If someone has faith in me, why don’t I have faith in myself? And I went back and I went forth. And I went back and I went forth.
And as I was wrestling with that, I realized that that no just wasn’t satisfactory to me. So I began to dig deep because on the inside of me, I realized there was a yes. But it was buried under fear. It was buried under the pretense that I could not do it. It was buried under the thought, why does anybody need to hear from me? You see, that no was not satisfactory to me.
So, I began to dig up my yes. And I began to say, “I want to do it. God, help me do it. God, I want to give you my yes.” And through that struggle, I had to make a decision. Was I just going to have one foot in and one foot out? Or was I going to make a firm decision and say, “The next time he asks me, if he ever does, I’m going to prepare and I’m going to be ready.
