Part Two: Reacting to the Top Moments From Therapy & Theology Season 8
All right, let’s move on to clip number three. And I think one misunderstanding around narcissism is often we think that the root of narcissism is pride. And the root is not pride. The root is actually shame that pride helps cover up. Yeah. So, but that narcissistic wounding that you mentioned, I think that’s important to understand too that they have experienced something at some point in their life where this wound and sometimes it becomes this untouchable like they’ll reveal part of the story but not the whole story about what
happened but there’s this wound and they cannot let people get close to that. So, I just thought maybe if you want to touch on that too. Yeah, I want to touch on a way that you may not have thought about at this setting because I know we’ve talked about it, but one of the wounds there, and I do see it now more than anything, and again, if I may, this will probably get Joel’s attention, you know, um, no, everybody doesn’t deserve a trophy in the county league, the city league, what we’re doing is, well, it’s
just true. What’s happening is or you are the best, you will grow up to be president. You are amaz there’s a place for affirmations but this overaffirming in a culture of little narcissists running around is not the wound you’re thinking well mama left, daddy left, there was a divorce, they were sexually abused, but this either a having a narcissistic parent or two and or they were just over affirmed and over praised and and that is also a narcissistic wound.
A lot of times we don’t want to look at it that way. Or maybe a a lie that they struggled to believe that turned into a liability that is the womb. Mhm. There’s so much to unpack in this one. All right, let’s get into it. I’m ready. What are your thoughts? I think like just oh my gosh what what Jim said there and just unpacking narcissistic wounds and understanding we all have narcissistic tendencies and understanding like that’s not something that we can necessarily navigate around but it’s really important to have self-awareness and something that I was
kind of researching after watching this episode was the distinction between self-esteem and narcissism because I was like okay help me understand the the way that value and selfworth plays into this conversation. And something that really helped me was thinking about self efficacy and self-esteem as I see the value in myself and I see the value of others versus a narcissistic outlook on life is I think my value is greater than the value of others around me.
M and that distinction helped me because I was like struggling with okay do I need to overanalyze all these reactions and the way that I process the world or am I am I so self-centered that I’m I’m only viewing the world in the way that I know how to and I may be unconsciously having these um narcissistic reactions but I think there is there is an important distinction to note here between those two and I think when we really understand the value of ourselves and others and we come from a place of that that helps to check those types of
tendencies to ensure that we’re not placing more value on ourselves than others. Yeah. But that we are intentionally edifying the value that we see in ourselves and others. So I think that helped me a little bit. That’s interesting. Yeah. You know the You know those times when we’re in a situation with somebody that’s difficult and we’re like am I am I like we were talking about earlier? Never never like am I am I the bad guy here? Um am I am I a narcissist in this? Am I? But one thing I’ve heard over and over again is a
narcissist is never going to say am I a narcissist? Yes. Or am I a problem? Am I the problem? Because they assume they’re not. Right. Right. And so I’ve heard that so many times that or that whole thing like if you if you are asking am I a bad friend? Am I a bad mom? Am I a bad coworker? The fact that you’re asking means that you’re probably okay because you want you care, right? And you actua
