Unglued Reactions (LIFE Today / Randy Robison)
In life, conflict is inevitable; someone will eventually “bump into your happy”. According to author and speaker Lysa TerKeurst, the way you respond in these moments of friction defines your future. In a discussion on Life Today, she explores how to move from chaotic, “unglued” reactions to intentional, God-honored responses that protect your relationships and your legacy.
Why Your Reactions Matter More Than Your Actions
Most people focus on their carefully planned actions to build their reputation. However, TerKeurst argues that reactions determine reach.
Your influence is most accurately measured when your guard is down and you are caught off guard. In these moments, how you react determines how far your influence will be allowed to extend within your sphere of influence. Even those with a deep desire to honor God can find their reactions are not always in tandem with the intentions of their hearts.
The “Gum on the Chip Bag” Incident: A Warning on Emotional Chaos
To illustrate how easily we can come “unglued,” TerKeurst shares a story of a woman on a flight who discovered a piece of chewed gum on her bag of chips.
This minor injustice triggered a massive overreaction:
- The Escalation: The woman began screaming at fellow passengers, which evolved into a rant about every personal injustice and political grievance she had ever faced.
- The Consequence: The flight was aborted on the runway.
- The Total Meltdown: When undercover Air Marshals attempted to contain her, she became belligerent and eventually shouted, “I have a bomb,” leading to her arrest and a full security sweep of the plane.
This story serves as a reminder that when we allow our internal chaos to dictate our reactions, we lose control of our situation and our integrity.
The Secret to Staying Calm: Predetermined Procedures
While the passenger lost control, the Air Marshals and flight attendants remained perfectly calm. TerKeurst noticed they were never sucked into the “emotional fray” because they followed a predetermined set of policies and procedures.
To avoid leaving your reactions to chance, TerKeurst suggests:
- Modeling Biblical Responses: Find models of healthy reactions in the Bible.
- Brain Training: Train your brain to default to these models during moments of chaos.
- Proactive Planning: Instead of falling into ruts of past behaviors, have a procedure in place before the conflict happens.