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I mean we really have to have the
conversations because if we don’t then
uh children and young people are left to
try to figure it out for themselves and
I think that really gets them in trouble
and it can uh just you know derail plans
and careers and all kinds of things
because we make bad decisions about
something that’s so natural and that
that’s it’s part of life it’s like
breathing it’s like eating it’s like
everything else and we don’t talk about
it as though it was some nasty thing but
God created it and so it is part of who
we are as human beings so that’s why I
thought it was important
okay so have you always felt like it was
important or as you were in your
practice did you recognize it like
there’s some resistance here and so
maybe I need to just like take the can
take the lid off the can and just see
what what I can do to help people become
more comfortable with it well actually
my grandmother who raised me was back in
her day she was very open about
sexuality and sex and so my cousins when
uh you know they were about to to engage
in the physical part of relationship my
grandmother was the person and she
always said this if you need birth
control let me know I’ll go to the
doctor with you so that’s when birth
control first started becoming available
so she felt because her first
relationship was one that she had no
power in that she was really open with
all of us with my cousins with myself
about the relationship so actually when
I made the decision that I wanted to
become sexually active it was my
grandmother that I talked to and she was
the one that went to the doctor with me
so that we could get clear understanding
on what was to happen now I know she was
a Pioneer you know in that area but she
did and so that opened the door for me
to have some openness
um and as I started to practice medicine
I thought there are so many things that
we just don’t discuss and this is so
important and so initially I would have
uh husbands and Wives come in together
so that you could ask your questions and
you could talk about it and then uh I’ve
always gone to the barber shop so you
know some of the misconceptions uh not
necessarily the talk about sex itself
but some of the things that people
believe are attached to sexuality or not
so there was a lot okay wait what I’m
now I’m curious so one of the things
that happens sometimes in men when they
find themselves in midlife and they have
the inability to perform
sometimes they think something’s going
on with the woman so it’s like she must
want somebody I mean it’s just this
ridiculous stuff so she’s not performing
with me or I can’t perform with her and
therefore there must have been something
you know there’s another man or she’s
not Desiring of me or something is wrong
it it just is so confusing and it is so
filled with uh things that are not true
that I just thought that I have there
has to be a place for people to have
where they can talk about this in an
intelligent grown-up manner so that we
can get some real truth so we can
separate the madness from from what’s
real