what I don’t trust I will try to control and I don’t physically try to control people but here’s what can so easily happen to me I want to be able to think about all of the things that I can say to help bring the narrative back to what I think is best and I want to make sure that people know like if you make this decision I can see see a train wreck happening down here I can see the bar the train barreling towards you and I’m not sure that you can see the the train barring towards you and if the train hits you it’s also going to impact
me and if the train hits you it’s also going to impact me and so it’s not necessarily that I want to control what you do I just want to control the things that feel out of control so that I can bring some sense of peace and security back into my life which I guess would be controlling to use a term the world but you’re really trying to control yourself and I would want to honor for a moment no matter what your motive or modus Opera is you’re really trying to keep yourself safe don’t you think it’s even if you say it’s unhealthy at one level I
watched that whole thing go out and then it came right back to you I heard you say you want to keep yourself safe I want to keep myself safe that’s my ultimate motivation but where I get in trouble is and often times my thought Spirals and and won’t land is because I’m trying to control something that is completely out of my control I will thought spiral around the decisions that you’re making I cannot control your decisions right I can’t control what you do what you don’t do but if what you’re doing is impacting
me then somehow I feel like my brain kind of tricks like tricks myself into believing no no no no there is something I can say there is something I can do there is something I can show him there is something that that a solution that I could possibly find that would make him finally wake up and go wait I’m making the wrong decisions here and you’re going to feel good in the moment again back to that brain chemistry because you’re going to be firing dopamine likely to fire cortisol the stress hormone in your bottle body there there
