Today’s topic is on forgiveness. Now look, I know that right when you hear the word forgiveness, you might be tempted to cross your arms, push back, and go, “Okay, I’m going to skip this episode.” >> In fact, Lisa, I think this is the one that you and Jim are doing by yourself. >> Really, >> do not leave this table.
>> Well, of course, we have with us Dr. Joel Mudamali and Jim Crest. Forgiveness can feel like such an unfair gift that we have to give to the person who hurt us the most. And often when we hear the word forgiveness, we attach that word to some of the hardest stuff that we’ve ever walked through. >> So I don’t want to start with forgiveness today.
I want to start with the resistance that is natural to feel around forgiveness. You know, some of my resistance was that I felt like the other person had not said that they were sorry. They hadn’t really owned what they had done and they were still hurting. You know, they were still saying hurtful things. And so, I just thought, I can’t forgive because I have to wait until they acknowledge what they’ve done, right? And Jim, you so brilliantly helped me understand that if I waited for the other person, the person who hurt me, >> if I wait for them to own what they did
and say they’re sorry, I may attach my well-being to the person who’s hurt me the most for the rest of my life. And the severing can only happen is if I detach my ability to heal and move forward and recognize forgiveness is not so much giving a gift to this person. Forgiveness is God’s prescription for the human heart to heal.
It’s much more about me and God. And look, forgiveness sometimes that forgiveness conversation, the epic big conversation that we all desire when someone finally falls in their knees and says, “I realize what I’ve done and it was so wrong and I I want to make up for all the hurt that I’ve done.” Chances are, in a lot of situations, either because that person passed away or they walked away and they don’t even feel bad about it, that conversation may never happen.
That’s right. And if we wait to heal until that conversation that may never happen occurs, then we may never heal. And so at some point we have to stick a stake in the ground and we have to say, I have suffered over this enough. I deserve to heal. And forgiveness is my choice. Forgiveness is my choice. And it’s between me and God.
