I know you’re always touched as you share your story here’s the funny thing is I I I was talking to somebody yesterday and they’re like how do I share my faith and I said what did God do for you how did you how did you start your life with Jesus so I probably share my testimony 20 25 times a day every day and so sometimes it’s 3 minutes and or a minute and a half in an elevator sometimes it’s 10 minutes on a golf course sometimes it’s 4 hours on a golf course yeah you know um I was you know I was really really really gone I guess
the driving force behind my life is that for 34 years no one ever talked about the gospel no one shared Jesus with me no one tried to reach me everybody was afraid of me I destroyed so many people’s lives you know at 12 I get put in a children’s home I’m already using drugs when I went in there but I became fully addicted to 12 your parents with your divorce they did they got divorced when I was 11 and and Mom couldn’t handle me so she put me in the best place she knew how she had three jobs trying to provide I I grew up the Masons raised me for 5 and a half years I was fully addicted to drugs I started doing
everything in there got out of there joined the Marines to straighten it out went awall after boot camp cuz I thought that this would straighten me out and boot camp really broke me but when I got out and started drinking drugs just came right back in so now I’m going to get busted I got to get out of here so I run away I went to Colorado I hid in the mountains out there in above Denver ended up getting busted five and a half months later got put in got put in jail got extradited back had bounty hunters come and get me and I got
put in military jail for about 5 and a half months got out of there then I ran away again cuz they weren’t going to keep me down they weren’t going to be my authority I have real Authority issues growing up you know Big Time Rebellion I was a rebel now I rebel against sin it’s different that’s right but I but I ended up getting busted 11 and a half months later got five cops with 9 millimeters at my head extradited the second time got Bounty Hunter fees so now I’m in the brig again I Got 5 and A2 months now they’re going to kick me out give me a bad conduct discharge I got $144,000 in
court cost to pay back now I start getting felonies I got four felonies three misdemeanor couldn’t stop stealing couldn’t stop the drugs couldn’t stop the alcohol I meet a girl in a bar and and she thinks that I’m Mr Smooth and I’m I could sell anything you know and I’m this manipulator and man this girl fell for it and a year and a half in she’s pregnant we have this daughter and I started hearing these voices saying you need to kill yourself you need to be done you’re never going to be a father you’re never going to be any good and so
I believed that and then I I do drugs to stop the voices then I went to the doctor and they’re like you’re bipolar the voices are bipolar disorder now you’re borderline schizophrenia now you’re manic depressed you need paxel you need zoff you need this you need that anti psychotic stuff and so I just kept getting Higher and Higher and Higher and when I got high on the drugs I felt like the voices slowed down they stopped and then when I wasn’t high they came back and so I stayed high as much as I could and so she was going to leave me for someone else about 6 months in
and I told her I’d kill her and I’d kill whoever she’s with and kill myself I thought about suicide from eight or nine years old I was hooked on pornography from 8 years old so my whole life I’ve been addicted to everything you know and now I’m addicted to hate I’m addicted to all this stuff that’s in my life my daughter grew up with an animal for a dad I wasn’t physically abusive but I I I didn’t know how to I didn’t know truth really and so I thought that everything in front of me was truth just like
everybody you know we think that there’s everything in front of us is the only thing there is there’s a war going on I didn’t know the war and so 9 years into this relationship I went out one night came back she’s gone and I told her what I’d do I told her kill her if she’s with somebody but my daughter left a note and said that we’re at Grandma’s house mommy’s never coming home and so I I just went over to her stepdad’s house to get a rifle I’m done I went into the house to get a to get a gun from the CL from the gun cabinet I went by I passed
by this notepad I was going to write I picked a Sharpie up I was going to write goodbye I’m sorry cuz I don’t know what else to say you know so I I go back to the to get the notepad and there was a phone book right beside it I flipped it open and it opened the churches and I’m like like this is so stupid and there’s like 586 churches coming to find out my hometown in York Pennsylvania made a check at one of them and I drove to this church as angry as could be and I walked into this door and it was only Grace that I didn’t bring a gun with me mercy
