Is God Always Good?

Trust is the “fabric of safety and connection” in all human relationships. However, the reality of life often introduces betrayal, heartbreak, and uncertainty, leading believers to question their own judgment, the reliability of others, and even the goodness of God. Moving forward after broken trust requires distinguishing between blind trust and wise trust, rooted in the unchanging truth of God’s character.

This guide explores how to navigate personal trust issues, rebuild discernment, and establish healthy conditions for trust with others, drawing on principles from the book I Want to Trust You but I Don’t.

Understanding the Roots of Distrust

Distrust often stems from profound disappointments and personal failures, leading to widespread skepticism that creeps into everyday life.

Everyday Trust Issues

Trust issues aren’t limited to major betrayals; they can manifest in small, often humorous, daily anxieties:

• Self-Doubt: Not trusting yourself to be responsible, leading to constantly checking for your license and ticket when traveling.
• External Skepticism: Checking to ensure a doctor’s degree is legitimate, fearing an imposter might mess with medical health.
• Catastrophic Thinking: Experiencing panic over misplacing a passport, even being convinced someone stole it despite zero evidence, which can lead to unnecessary actions like canceling the document.

The Pain of Profound Betrayal

Major heartbreak, such as an unwanted divorce or a miscarriage, can cause believers to feel betrayed by God because He saw the pain happening and “didn’t stop it before it became catastrophic”. This leads to wrestling, pain, and a desire to hold God accountable to the script the believer wrote for what a good God should do.

Key 1: Rebuilding Trust in God (The Goodness of Different)

When life doesn’t follow the script the believer wrote, the key to regaining spiritual peace is an absolute conviction in the goodness of God.

• God’s Plan is Better: Though God’s plan is often different than the one we pursue, different doesn’t mean bad. Many of the suggestions we make to God, even if they seem good at the time, would prevent us from living the better life He has planned.
• Tracing God’s Hand: It is often easier to trust God by looking backward than forward. Consider how God wove together unlikely people and puzzle pieces in the past to lead you to a point of good, affirming His faithfulness and goodness.
• Shifting Perspective: Ask yourself: “What would change about your life if you really believed in the goodness of God?”. Actively reading the truth (finding Bible verses on God’s goodness) and listening to worship songs declaring God’s goodness can interrupt negative thought patterns and shift your heart back to the truth. This affirmation is powerful because God is good at being God.

Key 2: Recalibrating Personal Discernment

Trusting your own ability to hear God’s guidance becomes difficult when you have previously sought the Lord’s guidance on a choice and later realized it was the wrong choice.

• Discernment vs. Details: Discernment often gives an indication that something is unwise or “off,” but it doesn’t give the necessary details. It is crucial to give yourself a lot of grace because it is natural to get the details wrong.
• The Heart’s Override: In situations like marital infidelity, the heart that desperately wanted the relationship to stay intact can override the warning signals given by the mind. The temptation is to beat yourself up, thinking your discernment failed.
• Knowing Better, Doing Better: Counseling suggests that when you know better, you do better. In relationships, you should naturally give the benefit of the doubt and want to believe the best.
• Clarity Through Curiosity: If you sense a red flag—especially if it is a repeated pattern and not a one-off mistake—it is not wrong to have a conversation. You must be curious, not furious. Sometimes, “Clarity is just a conversation away”.