Embracing the Unknown with Faith

• what happens when you trust in God and you don’t get the answer you want right then I used to never talk about hard things like that I never used to say when I was grieving when I lost somebody I loved I never talked about the gap between I trust in God and he answers because I grew up in a stream of the church where it was just tacitly endorsed that you always were a happy face I thought that was somewhere in the Bible I thought if you were serious about your faith you could not ever say you were having a hard day I thought you
• just shoulders back head up big smile hopefully a t-shirt with a verse on it because I I didn’t think we were allowed as Christ followers to say I trust in God but he hasn’t answered yet I trust in God but I’m really sad right now I thought I’m not allowed to do that it it’ll be a bad witness it’ll hurt God’s reputation I I used to beat myself up internally and just say if you could just memorize a few more verses if you could just muster up a little more faith you’d be more effective evangelist Lisa you can’t say you’re having a hard day
• somehow that negates the whole fact that he’s a perfect God that he’s a good God that he never leaves us and he never for forsakes us so I curated my emotions and I only brought the bright and shiny and the red white and blue sparkly ons to church and I never brought the black and blue my heart is broken and my dog is dead I I didn’t bring that to the family of faith I just achd in isolation cuz I swallowed the lie that God is disappointed in us if we’re sad I thought sad was bad y’all it took me a long long long time time to realize that