Defense Against Offenses: Get Out of Your Feelings

This summary analyzes Bishop T.D. Jakes’ discourse on navigating emotional offenses, emphasizing the necessity of prioritizing faith over feelings to maintain spiritual effectiveness and achieve destiny. The core teaching is derived from Luke 17:1–10 and focuses on managing the emotional quotient (EQ), confronting offense, and eradicating the deeply rooted system of bitterness that obstructs divine vision.

I. The Inevitability of Offense and the Gift of Feelings

The message establishes two foundational truths: the universality of feelings and the inevitability of being offended.

The Gift and Danger of Feelings

Human beings are created as a “feeling species”. God Himself has feelings, as illustrated by His anger or Jesus weeping. Feelings are a gift necessary for love, protection, and empathy. An angry mother, for instance, is equipped by God with protective instincts.

However, these feelings are vulnerable: we can get hurt, bruised, disappointed, forsaken, or rejected in our feelings. Unlike a broken arm or leg, a broken heart cannot be seen or easily treated; there is no prescription for the pain of rejection or disappointment.

Offense is Unavoidable

Jesus spoke directly to His disciples, warning them, “It is impossible but that offenses will come”. No level of kindness, piety (like Mother Teresa), or social adaptation (changing hair, dress, or weight) will exempt a person from offense.

• Social Reality: The speaker notes that in a world of 8 billion people, a person will “get on somebody’s nerves” no matter what they do.
• Marriage and Relationship: Even in the most wonderful relationships, offense is unavoidable, often over mundane things like dirty socks or smacking food.
• The World of Offense: We are living in an “era of offense” where everyone—rich, poor, black, white, men, women, and kids—is easily angered and upset. Society frequently pits people against each other based on what they think they heard someone thought, leading to judgment based on one individual’s stupidity.

II. Emotional Quotient (EQ) vs. Intellectual Quotient (IQ)

A key lesson is the importance of managing one’s emotional quotient (EQ), which often supersedes intelligence in determining life success.

Managing Feelings is Critical

Feelings are very important but must be managed. Like money, feelings must be budgeted, and guard rails must be put around them. If feelings are left unchecked, they can lead to snap decisions that are later regretted.

EQ in Life and Leadership

While intellectual quotient (IQ) is measured in interviews, people must live with the EQ. Many highly intelligent people (great IQ) have poor EQ, leading to havoc in their jobs, marriages, and relationships. A lower IQ with a higher EQ is often preferable for long-term relational success.

The Danger of Pettiness and Distraction

Jesus was preparing His disciples to “take over the world” and therefore did not want them to be petty. Petty attitudes prevent believers from doing “great work, massive promised land work”.

If the offense is not managed, it becomes a distraction from the calling. The believer’s wounded feelings act like the biblical enemies Sanballat and Tobiah, causing the believer to give up on their mission and “come down off your wall to have an argument with how you feel”. The victory is lost when the disruption distracts from God’s purpose.

III. God’s Protection and the Mandate for Forgiveness

Jesus addresses both the offender (God’s protection) and the offended (the command to forgive).

Protection of the Wounded

God takes the mistreatment of His people seriously. Jesus warned that it would be “better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck and he cast into the sea” than for him to offend one of God’s “little ones”.

• Vengeance is God’s: This divine protection means the believer does not have to fight back or seek vengeance. The battle “belongs to the Lord”.
• Protection of the Vulnerable: God is watching out for the defenseless, the broken, the mistreated, and those in abusive relationships. God will “handle the person that’s mishandling you”.
• Marital Accountability: God watches how husbands treat their wives; if they do not treat their wives with honor, their prayers will be hindered.
• Treating the Less Important: A crucial measure of character is how a person treats those they think are not important (e.g., the waitress, bus driver, Uber driver, or janitor). The way a person treats people they think they don’t need is a clue to “the rhythm with which she handles her emotion”.

The Purging Mandate: Forgiving 70 Times 70

Jesus commands the offended brother: “if thy brother does trespass against he rebuke him and if he repent forgive him”.

• Confrontation is Necessary: Most people lack the courage to confront the person who offended them. Burying or covering up wounds does not heal them. Confrontation can be done without being confrontational, and believers must not let anyone take their voice away.
• The Need for Faith: When Jesus demanded forgiveness seven times in a day, or “70 times 70,” the disciples realized the sheer impossibility of this command and responded: “increase our faith”.
• Faith Over Feelings: The disciples understood that in order to purge their hearts of wounded feelings, they needed faith. Forgiveness requires believing that “nothing you did stop me from getting there” and that destiny is not altered by human actions or words.

IV. The Sycamine Tree: Untangling the Roots of Contamination

Jesus provides the spiritual remedy by introducing the analogy of the sycamine tree and contrasting it with the mountain.

The Nature of the Sycamine Tree

When the disciples asked for more faith, Jesus said that if they had faith the size of a mustard seed, they could command the sycamine tree to be plucked up by the root and planted in the sea.

• Wide, Tangled Roots: The sycamine tree’s roots do not grow deep but grow wide, twisting and tangling. This makes it almost impossible to uproot the tree, as the roots “take over territory”.
• The System of Attack: The sycamine tree represents the system of attack in a person’s life—a pattern of consistent, intertwined issues. For instance, being hurt by a husband might be rooted in something that happened with a father, creating a tangled system where the same spirit affects marriage, children, jobs, and finances across generations.
• Unforgiveness Has Roots: Jesus chose the sycamine tree instead of a mountain because mountains don’t have roots, but unforgiveness has roots, which are the “roots of bitterness”. Bitterness gets so entangled that sometimes people forget what they are angry about; they are simply angry.

The Power of Mustard Seed Faith

God promises that even a “little bit of faith” (the size of a mustard seed) can “demolish the system” that has the believer stuck and untangle roots that have been present for generations. The Lord promises to “demolish the whole system” and “pull the tree up”.