Dealing With the Impact of Relational Dysfunction

• and so I think all of this contributes to the silencing of a woman especially in terms of emotional abuse so what do we do about a gym and I loved when we were processing this you said first of all we don’t want to take our response to an extreme so we don’t want to take like okay we’ve gotten to the place where we don’t want to be silenced about the emotional abuse we’re experiencing but you made a great point we don’t want to immediately go from being absolutely quiet about it to suddenly swinging the pendulum in the other
• direction and taking our our voicing of it to such an extreme well we can be Lord knows I can be a creature of extremes so that I will have no voice or I will have co-signed literally co-signed someone’s unhealthy treatment of me I read a book a podcast podcast like this one and I get some insight which is good insight and I take this beach ball that proverbially I’ve held underwater and you know I have this in my office I have a beach ball and I have a hand grenade it’s been gutted but it’s a real hand grenade right and I hold it
• under water finally I begin to go yeah I need to say something here and I come out like a grenade and I do things and I have this massive vulnerability hangover later which means I just went out and said all the stuff and I’m like I should have not I was not emotionally self-regulated during that time I understand that so the idea of being able to slowly be able to find a safe person and begin at thirty thousand feet and say I’d like to tell you here’s what I’m experienced it versus coming out moving from you know being you know
• quiet like a mouse and then getting a megaphone I understand why that’s that danger it goes quick well I finally found my voice and I got to Proclaim it from the rooftops you’ll regret that especially if you’re doing that such a way that you have a bit of Vengeance I’ve seen that I mean just I want to get somebody you’re going to regret that later if you have integrity I think um and so besides just the knowledge of okay we want to find our voice but we don’t want to go from Mouse to megaphone right so what is what is that middle