Am I in Denial That This Relationship Is Unhealthy?

• well I promised we would be back to continue this really important conversation and we were just talking about sometimes we can be in denial over the severity of a situation or we can be in denial over the fact that it’s not just isolated instances or or a mistake but rather it really is a pattern and sometimes we can live in denial of both of those things now the main thing I want us to always remember is that none of all this that we’re processing and none of it is to hinder our relationships but rather we want to
• help our relationships be safe respectful and mutually beneficial for both people in the relationship so that’s where we are going after the heart of this and that is using discernment that’s based in wisdom so it’s not just our opinion it’s not just like oh this person aggravates me sometimes or oh this person annoys me sometimes or oh this person is difficult sometimes this really is about looking and seeing am I pointing my life in the direction of wisdom or foolishness with the daily actions and reactions that I’m
• participating in and also this person that I’m in this relationship with wisdom or foolishness which direction are they headed so Jim I want to ask you to continue your thoughts here because if we are in a relationship where we feel like it’s unhealthy maybe the relationship is being pointed because of the Dynamics between us in the direction of unwise or foolishness or maybe it’s that we are seeking wisdom but the other person is consistently seeking what the Bible would say is foolishness and there is this great tension that now we’re like
• okay we’re in relationship where we can’t keep going like thish so what what else is on your list to suggest to people like okay you’re in an healthy relationship now what if I’m coming into your office and saying that what advice are you giving me one of our favorite themes you’ll probably smile when I say this as you said what if we get to the point that we can’t do this and normally I’m going to say let me let me anticipate what you’re to say pleas read my mind I’m I’m about to read your mind Lisa is it can’t or is it won’t right
• because it’ll won’t keep doing this it does feel like can’t we start with I just can’t do this but then to move to the boundaries which we’ve done so much work on it’s what this very series is about and that is to say and I won’t I can’t and I won’t go on and do this anymore I think that’s really crucial because it’s at that point where we shift from I can’t do this to I won’t do this that that person is positioning themselves to have healthy boundaries and to keep them consistently because they’ve already decided boundaries are