Praying for God’s Forgiveness – A Path to Spiritual Growth
The search for true spiritual well-being is often sabotaged by two potent emotional and psychological enemies: guilt and bitterness. Jesus Christ, in the model prayer (the Lord’s Prayer), addressed both of these issues directly when He taught believers to pray, “And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors”. This dual petition offers the ultimate path to spiritual growth and the “freedom of forgiveness”.
An unforgiving spirit is considered by some wise and gifted men of God to be the one sin that causes Christians the most difficulty and is holding back the power of God more than any other.
The Dual Prisons: Guilt and Bitterness
Many individuals are spiritually, psychologically, and physically driven down by the weight of guilt and bitterness, keeping them locked in a prison of their own making.
- Guilt (Forgive Us Our Debts): When God forgives, He breaks the power of canceled sin, setting the prisoner free from the prison of guilt.
- Bitterness (As We Forgive Our Debtors): When believers forgive others, they are set free from the prison of bitterness.
Refusing to forgive is a severe form of dissipation that causes immense damage to the human soul and body.
Sin Defined as Debt
The Bible defines sin as a debt owed to God, our Creator. We were created to love and serve Him but have failed to do so. This failure casts us into a debtor’s prison because we cannot pay the damages owed in Heaven’s court. Forgiveness is the only means of being set free.
The Cost of Forgiveness (Grace Factor)
When debt is forgiven, the forgiver pays the cost. Forgiveness is the act of canceling a debt. The word “forgive” itself can mean “to bear the burden”.
While salvation is free to the recipient, it cost the Lord Jesus dearly. God does not merely overlook sin; He pays the debt Himself.
- Ephesians 1:7 reveals that believers have redemption through Christ’s blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of His grace.
- Grace is defined as G.R.A.C.E.: God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense.
- Jesus paid the debt of sin on the cross with His blood.
Compelling Reasons to Forgive Others
Once a person has experienced God’s grace and forgiveness, they are called to extend that same grace to others. If forgiveness is withheld, the stream of God’s continuing forgiveness is dammed up.
Here are four compelling factors for why believers must forgive those who have wronged them (e.g., parents, spouse, employer, neighbor):
1. The Grace Factor: You Have Been Forgiven
Believers should forgive others because God has so willingly forgiven them. We are commanded to “Be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you” (Ephesians 4:32). We should not “fall out with anyone until he treated me worse than I treated Jesus,” considering that we crucified Christ.
2. The Guilt Factor: Unforgiveness Shuts Out God’s Forgiveness
Unforgiveness is an unforgivable spirit. The person who refuses to forgive destroys the bridge over which they themselves must travel. The prayer, “Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors,” is a dangerous prayer because we are asking God to deal with us exactly the same way we deal with others.
- If you tell God, “I’ll forgive them but never have anything more to do with them,” you ask God to treat you the same way.
- If you say, “I’ll forgive, but I can’t forget,” you are asking God to forgive you but not forget your trespasses.
- Unforgiveness keeps your guilt intact.
3. The Grief Factor: Personal Harm and Bitterness
An unforgiving spirit causes personal harm and grief by keeping the individual in a self-made prison. When you refuse to let the person who wronged you “off the hook,” you stay hooked with them.
- If you attempt to “get even,” you come down to the moral level of the wicked person who wronged you. When you forgive, you lift them up to where you are.
- Hating someone is like taking an acid into your system; bitterness is an acid that destroys its container. Resentment is described as slow suicide.
- The hurt that wounded you will continue to hurt you until you release it and let it go.
4. The Gain Factor: Gaining a Brother
Forgiving someone gains a brother or a potential brother. Jesus commanded that if a brother trespasses against you, you should go tell him his fault privately, and if he listens, “Thou hast gained thy brother” (Matthew 18:15). Reconciliation is so important that Jesus instructed believers to be reconciled to their brother first before bringing a gift to the altar (Matthew 5:24).
An unforgiving spirit among believers causes significant damage:
- It disgraces the Father.
- It discourages the saints.
- It disgusts the lost who are quick to notice rifts in families or churches.
- It delights the Devil.
If the person who wronged you is an unbeliever, they are even more an object of pity, requiring love and compassion since they do not possess the grace and power you have. Forgiveness is giving people what they need, not what they deserve.
Costly Requirements for Forgiving
The ultimate model for how we should forgive is Christ. The price Heaven paid for our forgiveness is the kind of price we are called to pay.
1. Forgive Freely
Forgiveness must be offered freely, not after exacting a “pound of flesh”. Some people delay forgiveness, criticizing, scolding, or freezing out the offender until they have thoroughly roasted or pummeled them, making the “forgive-ee” feel like they have already paid.
- We must be quick to forgive. Bitterness quickly becomes an infection that is difficult to heal.
- Jesus forgave while He was being crucified.
- Believers should be anxious to forgive, even seeking out the offender. The offended party should take the offensive and go to the one who sinned, modeling God who pursued Adam and Eve in the Garden.
2. Forgive Fully
Forgiveness must be given fully. It is not genuine forgiveness to say, “Oh, don’t worry about it, it’s all right”. Saying “it doesn’t matter” is often driven by pride because the forgiver doesn’t want the offender to know they were actually hurt.
True forgiveness is not mere politeness, being magnanimous, accepting an apology, or acting like it didn’t matter. It is essential for the offender to make a genuine confession (“I was wrong, will you forgive me?”) and for the offended to look at them and confirm the forgiveness.
3. Forgive Finally
When forgiveness is granted, it must be granted finally. What is forgiven should be buried in the grave of God’s forgetfulness, never to be brought up again.
- When God forgives, He forgets in the sense that He remembers our sins against us no more. He holds no grudges or hostility.
- Forgetting is not the means of forgiveness, but the result of forgiveness. We remember the trespass against them no more. The biggest test of true forgiveness is whether or not the issue is continually brought up again.