What To Do When People Leave You

Focus Keywords: abandonment, betrayal, rejection, Jesus’ abandonment, finding purpose, spiritual resilience, I am not going, secret place, embracing what is left, Steven Furtick

This rewrite summarizes key insights from Steven Furtick’s message, “What To Do When People Leave You,” focusing on the deeply personal and theological struggle of dealing with abandonment, betrayal, and rejection. The central thesis is that if Jesus, who was perfect and all-knowing, experienced abandonment, believers should expect to face similar pain. The response to this pain determines spiritual growth and focus.

The Pain of Abandonment: Following Jesus’ Example

The sources highlight the profound pain that accompanies people leaving, often leading to a spiritual crisis where one feels “as if God did too”. This message addresses this vulnerable feeling with tenderness.

Jesus’ Comprehensive Rejection: Jesus experienced abandonment across every sphere of influence, serving as the ultimate example for believers.

• Political Rejection: Leaders were actively trying to kill Jesus.
• Crowd Consumption: The massive crowds only wanted what Jesus had to give, not what he had to teach. They consumed Him rather than committed to Him.
• Disciples’ Confusion: Even His own core disciples never fully understood Him, requiring Him to constantly explain plain truths (like Lazarus’s death) to them in a way that was frustratingly simple.
• Family Disbelief: Perhaps the most painful rejection came from His own family; “Even his own brothers did not believe in him”.

The saddest verse, John 6:66, records that “many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him” after one of His greatest miracles. If the Savior of the world experienced this profound rejection, believers cannot expect to go through life untouched by betrayal or abandonment.

The Enemy’s Strategy: Pushing You Out of Position

The sources identify specific strategies the enemy uses during times of vulnerability and abandonment.

• Targeting Vulnerability: The enemy uses moments when you feel lonely and vulnerable to push you out of your God-given position.
• Provoking Bitterness: Abandonment is used to cause the believer to feel bitter and start “doing things that aren’t even you”.
• Weaponizing Disappointment: The enemy will use people who have disappointed you to cause you to doubt the God who never will disappoint or leave you.

Jesus experienced this attack directly when His own brothers tried to “teach Jesus how to be a big deal,” suggesting He go to Jerusalem to “make a show” during a festival. They were trying to teach the Alpha and Omega and the Word of God how to run a PR campaign and make a splash—an attempt to force Jesus into a vulnerable, showy position.

The Wisdom of “I Am Not Going” and “I’m Good in Galilee”

Jesus’s response to His brothers’ pushy advice provides two essential declarations for navigating abandonment: “I’m good in Galilee” and “I am not going”.

1. I’m Good in Galilee: Embracing Arrival, Not Becoming

Jesus’s brothers told Him that “No one who wants to become a public figure acts in secret”. The critical word here is “become”.

• Knowing Your Identity: Jesus’s response demonstrated that He did not need to “become nothin'” because He was and is and is to come. When a person knows their identity in Christ—knowing “you’ve already got what they’re trying to get you to chase”—the temptation to compromise or chase external validation disappears.
• Contentment in Position: Declaring “I’m good in Galilee” means accepting that “Where God has me right now is where I want to be”. This fosters deep contentment, regardless of external circumstances, such as scratches on a car or marks on a house. It is the choice to declare, “I like my life,” even when others might try to pressure you into misery. Jesus, who was tempted in every way but without sin, chose not to be bitter, even when He had every reason to be.

2. I Am Not Going: Setting Boundaries and Using Authority

Jesus declared, “I am not going” to the festival, demonstrating that the power of knowing your purpose involves knowing what you must refuse.

• Refusing Compromise: This declaration is the power to say “no” to compromising values, joining in gossip, or participating in destructive behaviors. It is the refusal to give up something “blood-bought for something that is dirt cheap”.
• Refusing Apathy: It is the refusal to quit, give up, bury a dream, become a cynic, or numb the pain with substance abuse.
• The Power of Identity: This refusal is rooted in knowing the seven “I am” statements (e.g., I am the Bread of Life, I am the Good Shepherd, I am the way, the truth, and the life). Since Jesus is all that, He also knows what He is not. This clarity is what allows believers to walk away from temptation without having to explain or prove themselves.