Your Love for God Is Broken—Here’s Proof

This expert summary synthesizes core biblical teachings on Christian love, relationships, and spiritual assurance derived from the sources, emphasizing the concept that the quality of one’s relationships with others (horizontal) is a direct reflection of their love and devotion for God (vertical).

The message underscores that many interpersonal problems, including difficulties loving annoying or challenging individuals, are rooted in a broken love for God. Repairing the vertical relationship is the essential step for healing and flourishing in horizontal relationships.

I. The Greatest Commandment and the Whole Law

The Apostle Paul and Jesus Christ both defined the essence of the divine law, establishing the supremacy of vertical affection.

Supremacy of Divine Love

Jesus identified the greatest commandment of all: “to love the Lord your God with all of your heart mind soul and strength”. This love for God is the greatest love.

Horizontal Love Fulfills the Law

According to Paul, the whole law is summed up in the command to “love your neighbor as yourself”. This horizontal love is only possible when God is the primary affection of the heart.

The ability to love other people well is entirely dependent on loving God first with all one’s heart. When God is correctly positioned as the number one affection of the heart, a person is then able to see people for who they really are—as gifts from God.

The Danger of Self-Replacement

If God is replaced as the number one affection of the heart, the replacement is inevitably self. This leads to selfishness and narcissism, where everything revolves around “my plans, all about my desires about all my wishes”.

When self replaces God, individuals become incapable of loving others well because they begin seeing people “as a means to your happiness”. The sources emphasize that humans make terrible gods for themselves and others.

II. Proof of a Broken Love for God

The sources provide a straightforward test for assessing the sincerity and wholeness of one’s love for God: the failure to love other people.

The Apostle John states in 1 John chapter 4: “If someone says ‘I love God but hates a fellow believer that person is a liar for if we don’t love people that we can see how can we say that we love God who we cannot see?'”.

The ability to love others, even when they are “tough” or “difficult,” is motivated and maintained daily by one’s love for God. This dynamic was demonstrated by Jesus: His love for the Father motivated and sustained Him on mission all the way to the cross, enabling Him to love those who crucified Him.

True love for others must be primarily motivated by the love for God, realizing that people are gifts placed into life by God.

III. Spiritual Assurance and the Sovereignty of Salvation

The sources address the common concern regarding the stability of a believer’s standing with God, particularly the question of losing one’s salvation, by rooting assurance in God’s sovereignty.

The Primary Question: Are You Saved?

The foundational question a person should ask is “have I ever been saved in the first place,” rather than “can I lose my salvation”. Jesus warned that many who claim “Lord, Lord” will not inherit the kingdom of heaven, and He will tell them, “depart from me i never knew you”.

Peter advised believers to “examine yourself and see if you are in the faith,” noting that he “who practices sin is of the devil”.

Assurance Through God’s Sovereign Grace

The sources strongly affirm that a true believer has been saved before the foundations of the world and has been appointed and ordained by God to be conformed to the image of his son.

• Salvation is God’s Gift: Salvation is not achieved through human effort or works; it is granted solely by God’s sovereign grace through faith, which is a gift of God.
• God Keeps Whom He Saves: When God saves someone, “he keeps someone”. A truly born-again believer is supernaturally transformed with a new heart and new desires associated with Jesus, replacing the heart of Adam.
• Rest in the Cross: Believers should not worry about losing salvation by trying to “try harder, pray harder, sin less,” because those efforts did not secure salvation initially. Salvation is wholly and entirely dependent upon Jesus Christ and His work on the cross. Sin cannot wreck salvation any more than a lack of sin can achieve it.

IV. Biblical Discipline and Purity in Practice

The sources offer guidance on practical applications of faith, including parenting, relationships, and personal conduct, filtering them through scriptural standards.

Parenting and Discipline

For those with children or grandchildren, the sources recommend the book Shepherding a Child’s Heart by Tedd Trip for guidance on biblical discipline, spanking, and timeouts, noting its commitment to scripture and relational application.

The Use of Alcohol

Drinking alcohol is not inherently sinful, as demonstrated by Jesus turning water into wine and possibly drinking it Himself. The biblical prohibition is clearly against getting drunk, which is described as sinful and stupid. The guideline is that God has given believers all things to enjoy “in the right context for the right purpose,” similar to enjoying food without gluttony or idolizing substances.

Cohabitation and Purity

Cohabitation (living together before marriage) is strongly discouraged and considered a bad idea.

• Defiling the Marriage Bed: Sharing a living space and likely sharing a bed defiles the future marriage bed because it involves sleeping with someone who is not yet a spouse.
• Practicing Divorce: If the relationship ends after cohabitation, the individuals have essentially “practiced divorce,” bonding their emotions and heart in a “one flesh relationship” only to break it. Repeatedly practicing divorce can make a person emotionally calloused.
• Playing with Fire: Even attempting to cohabitate without sharing a bed is described as “playing with fire”.

Communication with the Deceased

The sources express uncertainty regarding whether people who have passed away can see and communicate with the living on Earth. While acknowledging that God’s all-seeing eye is sobering and terrifying, the sources state that it is unknown if those in the “great cloud of witnesses in heaven” are watching “highlight reels” or viewing events in real-time through a portal. Further study is recommended on this matter.