Today we’re going to talk about a maddening question that’s likely circulating in your mind if you’ve ever walked through the death of your marriage. Why was I not good enough for him? And if it’s not that specific question that lingers within you, it could be, “What could I have done differently?” Or, “How did I miss this?” When you’ve experienced an unwanted divorce, those are the kind of thoughts that ruminate in your mind.
So, we want to talk about how to really take your thoughts captive today. But before I do that, let me introduce Jim Crest and Dr. Joel Mudamali. We were just laughing because we’ve known each other 10 years and I’ve been mispronouncing your last name. >> It’s all good. >> Thank you. Thank you for your grace. Um, all right.
So, today I want to share something that I wrote in our new book, Surviving an Unwanted Divorce. Each of us has things about ourselves that we wish were different. I’m not going to dignify those nagging thoughts, those negative statements that we make about ourselves by listing them here. I know what mine are, and I suspect you know what yours are, too.
It can seem so logical to think that if those things about us were different, that our marriages would have turned out differently. And while I’m all about working to become the healthiest version of ourselves, it is not helpful to mentally beat ourselves up and reduce our worth down to the sum total of our flaws or even flaws that someone else has pointed out in us.
>> Sometimes it’s not just the insecurities that we feel. It’s like I just said, the negativity spoken over us that feels like a confirmation of our worst thoughts about ourselves. Our own insecurities trickle in and out of our thought life. But then someone whose opinion really matters to us voices that same negativity over us.
