and so another part of this i mean we asked the question you know is is putting a boundary on yourself to create safety and protection within the relationship is that biblical so yes it is biblical boundaries are not just a good idea they’re a god idea the second part of that is what about verses that seem to sort of go against that and one of them that i really had to wrestle through is the fact that jesus laid his life down and you know and then the bible even says we are to lay our life down you know even for a friend
so as i was studying this though it occurred to me jesus did not lay his life down to enable bad behavior or sin to continue jesus laid his one life down for the sake of a high and holy purpose sometimes people will ask us to lay our life down to enable sin that should not be enabled or to try to force us to tolerate behaviors that should not be tolerated or to force us to agree with unhealthy tendencies and patterns in a relationship that should not be agreed with you see a lot of where this tension is coming from i’ve discovered in
relationships and you taught me this jim health cannot bond with unhealth and one time if i want to show this glass of water here okay see if we can get this on camera do you see here how water is seeking its own level so the water on this side of the glass is seeking the same level on this side of the glass you don’t see a glass of water sitting on a flat surface and have it tilted in such a way like this but what have we been describing here we’ve been describing when you’re giving so much access and someone’s not bringing the right
level of responsibility to that kind of access there’s a tilt here yeah and so the the tension is we’re trying to achieve an equilibrium in this relationship that’s healthy but if you are seeking what is healthy and the other person is refusing unwilling or incapable of healthy then of course there is going to be this constant tension and your choice at that point is either to sink down to their level of unhealth that’s right or to require parameters in place that either they need to get healthy or you will have to
