is it possible to not pick sides in a divorce I’m going to go first with this one I really can’t stand it when somebody says you know well there’s two sides to every story yeah that statement for whatever reason was hugely triggering for me because my thought is why are we picking sides this isn’t a spectator sport this is a family being decimated and so instead of picking a side why not just step in and help wherever you can help be silent about things that you don’t need to talk about and if you use words let them be words
of great compassion and not judgment any other things that you guys would like to say as we wrap up yeah I would just say um yeah you’re going to be surprisely so I say yeah you’re going to pick a side and the side is the greatest good of each image Bearer in this discussion and that greatest good might mean sitting boundaries and a separation of relationship or it might be really diving deep into a relationship because there’s so much hurt and there’s so much pain and there’s a vulnerability that needs to be tended for and cared for but
the filter is the greatest good of both image bears and and like I said some sometimes um it’s going to take specific actions depending on the scenario that’s really good Joel I think uh just look in sports um certainly look in politics and we are wired especially in that lower limic brain or if we’re in trauma like the death of a marriage known as a divorce that we wired to pick sides and during that time is for allow that person focusing more on picking than on picking sides to say what’s going on to me even the kids involved where do they
have a safe place to go grieve and process it and and I’m going you know it sounds like bad news as we end here I rarely see what I’m about to say but oh if we could see this more and it is when I work with many couples who’ve gone through divorce I’ve never told one person I won’t you need to divorce that’s not going to be my decision as a therapist I’ve said to them it’s that people do an amical div divorce or if something goes on and what if your spouse Even’s out there trashing you or whatever else then you can stay
